Die For Me
by Ace of Spades 131
Summary: A demon from Yuuri's past reappears, and he will do anything to protect the ones he loves from being hurt the way he was.
1. Chapter 1

"What are you up to, my love?" Yuuri flinched as Viktor snuck up behind him and laid gentle hands on his shoulders, leaning over the back of the couch to look at the book he held.

"Reading." Yuuri turned to face his fiancé, forcing the butterflies in his stomach to settle. No matter how many times Viktor touched him unannounced, snuck up on him, called for him, he jumped every time. He should have been used to it, but the saying "old habits die hard" was incredibly true.

Viktor came around to the front of the couch where Makkachin was lounging in Yuuri's lap as he flipped through his novel and plopped himself down, snuggling into his raven-haired beauty's neck as if to say, 'pay attention to me!' "What's it about?" The book was written in Japanese Kanji, which just looked like jumbles of lines to Viktor.

"Just something a friend of mine co-wrote." Yuuri quickly shut the book and placed it on the back of the couch, cheeks tinging pink as Viktor's eyebrow cocked. "Some story about the difference between love and hate."

"Well that seems pretty obvious to me." Viktor chuckled, wondering how such a story could hold any merit.

"I guess you're right." Yuuri let a giggle escape his lips, but Viktor caught the flash of discomfort that came with it. Yuuri was hiding something. But then again, Yuuri hid lots of things. He was a secretive person, which Viktor could respect, although he did wish that Yuuri would open up once in a while.

"So, what should we do for dinner?" Viktor recognized the need for a subject change, a need he fulfilled often. "I don't feel like cooking."

"Me neither." Yuuri adjusted his glasses, glad that Viktor hadn't pressed about the book. He never intruded when Yuuri wanted to keep something hidden, which was nice. There were many things that Viktor didn't know about Yuuri, and Yuuri intended to keep it that way. There was no need to dig up the past. "What do you feel like eating?"

"I always choose, why don't you pick?"

"Umm…" Yuuri picked at the hem of his shirt, his gaze downcast. Viktor's lip twitched as he saw Yuuri's cheeks flushing pink. Whenever he was asked to make a decision, Yuuri got nervous, as if he was afraid to say the wrong thing. If it didn't concern Viktor so much, he might have found it adorable. They'd been officially engaged for six months, and had known each other for almost a year and a half, so it didn't make sense that Yuuri would be afraid to speak his mind, especially about something so irrelevant as what to have for dinner. "We could go that hotpot place you like."

"Perfect!" Viktor made sure his smile was broad and genuine, reassuring even. "We haven't had hotpot in months!"

"Good, then it's a plan." Yuuri smiled, glad to have made Viktor happy. All he ever wanted to do was make Viktor happy.

"Let's go." Viktor pulled Yuuri up off the couch, leaving Makkachin with a lack of knee underneath his chin.

"We'll be back later, boy." Yuuri chuckled and scratched Makka's head when he received a whine for moving out from under him.

"Let's walk, it's warm today." Viktor suggested as he pulled on his trench coat.

"You call this warm?" Yuuri felt the chill of the cold air before the door even opened, cursing the bone chilling Russian weather he wasn't yet accustomed to.

"Yes." Viktor smirked. "We can take a cab if you want."

"No, it's okay." Yuuri just pulled his coat tighter around himself as they set out to the restaurant.

Viktor reached out and took Yuuri's hand in his, feeling the cool metal of Yuuri's ring between his fingers. They walked in silence, just how they both liked it. Silence with Viktor was comfortable. Silence with Viktor was safe.

"Welcome, how many?" The hostess spoke in Russian to the pair, meaning Viktor took the lead.

"Table for two." Viktor smiled, speaking in his native tongue to the hostess as they walked into the restaurant, mouths immediately watering at the spicy smell of the air.

"Of course, follow me." They were led to a table in the back corner of the restaurant, near the buffet. Yuuri took the seat with his back to the wall, facing out into the restaurant while Viktor sat with his back to everything. "What can I get you guys to drink?"

"What would you like to drink?" Viktor asked Yuuri in English. Their usual restaurant experience consisted of Viktor speaking with the waiter or waitresses in Russian, relaying questions to Yuuri in English, then speaking to the staff again. Once orders had been placed, they would start up a language crash course. Yuuri was nowhere near fluent in Russian, but if he somehow found himself alone in St. Petersburg, he'd at least be able to communicate a bit. The same went for Viktor with Japanese.

"Tea please." Yuuri smiled as Viktor placed their drink orders. "Thank you."

"What for?" Viktor's eyebrow cocked and he smirked as he saw Yuuri's face tinging pink.

"Ordering."

"Well I'm not going to throw you to the dogs." Viktor chuckled. "People speak too quickly here."

"Well, thank you anyway."

"Of course." Viktor reached across the table to hold Yuuri's hand, making his face turn a darker shade of pink that wasn't quite red.

"Here you go." A waiter set down a jug of water that more resembled a vase, as well as two glasses and two clay tea cups.

"Spasibo." Yuuri and Viktor thanked the waiter in unison before Viktor requested a pot of medium spiced broth as well as some pork.

"I'll go grab us some stuff." Viktor slung his coat over the back of the chair as he stood, grabbing a plate off of the table.

"Okay." Yuuri smiled as Viktor turned on his heel and strode over to the buffet table, piling vegetables, noodles and tofu onto the plate. While he was alone at the table, Yuuri pulled out his phone, keeping his head down, trying not to pay attention to the chattering crowd. At some point, the waiter came over and placed a pot of broth on the hotplate, as well as a plate of sliced pork. Yuuri just nodded to the waiter with a smile before he left and Viktor returned.

"Perfect timing!" Viktor smiled, trying to keep his piled plate balanced as he set it down.

"I'd say." Yuuri smiled into the rolling boil in the centre of the table and grabbed a pair of chopsticks to help Viktor place ingredients into the pot.

"Why is hotpot so good?!" Viktor practically yelled as they finished the first round of their meal.

"Couldn't tell you." Yuuri giggled back as he stood up to replenish their food supply.

"I love spending time with you." Viktor gazed across the table into Yuuri's rich chocolate eyes, taking note of the deep black ring around the edge of his golden flecked iris. Who ever said that brown eyes were boring was wrong. So completely wrong. They'd clearly never seen Yuuri's eyes. His perfect, beautiful eyes.

"I love spending time with you too." Yuuri's cheeks flushed again, and his voice wavered. His bashful reaction to affection was so adorable, it drove Viktor mad sometimes. He was just too good to be true. And he was Viktor's.

"I would hope so, you put up with me all day every day." Viktor chuckled, never breaking their eye contact.

"I'll go get us some more stuff." Yuuri hastily stood up, needing his cheeks to cool. "Any requests?"

"Bok choy!"

"You got it."

"Thank you!"

Yuuri shook his head with a smile. He loved so much that Viktor could make him smile when he wasn't feeling comfortable. He'd really brought him out of his shell over the months that they'd known each other.

Yuuri ignored the foreign language that used to stress him out as he piled vegetables onto his plate, making sure to grab a fair amount of bok choy for Viktor.

"You took my spot." Yuuri smirked at Viktor, who threw a cheeky grin to the man setting down the plate on the table.

"I missed you and your coat smells good." Viktor winked and smiled broader at Yuuri's blush.

"I was only gone a minute…." Yuuri slipped into the chair, agreeing with Viktor's point on coats smelling good. They smelled like their wearer. Viktor's coat smelled like love. Like home.

"Still." Viktor slid the plate closer to him, digging for his bok choy in the pile of peppers, taro, and mushrooms. "Do you want you spot back?"

"No! No, it's okay."

"Well good then, I would have had to fight back if you said yes." Viktor winked again.

"Well I'm glad I didn't then."

The chat returned to language, Viktor asking questions about Japanese Kanji and how it associated to specific letters. As Yuuri was explaining how the symbols changed with different sounds, Viktor found his gaze wandering past his instructor and further into the restaurant.

"Everything okay?" Yuuri's eyebrows pulled together when Viktor didn't answer one of his questions, attention clearly being held by something else.

"I think one of us has an admirer." Viktor nodded over Yuuri's shoulder, to a table where a man kept glancing in their direction.

"What?" Yuuri moved to turn but Viktor reached out and stopped him.

"Not yet… he's looking." With Viktor's words, Yuuri was suddenly very conscious of the back of his head. He could feel eyes burning into his scalp. Was that presence familiar? No. It couldn't be. "Okay, look. Table against the wall, third from the other end of the room."

The instructions were unclear, but Yuuri found the man immediately. His heart stopped. His lungs stopped. His thoughts stopped. Everything just… stopped.

"Viktor." Yuuri whispered, eyes widening as his heart began pounding again, frantically, as if it wanted to escape from the cage of bone that held it in place. His lungs burned from the lack of oxygen, but he couldn't remember how to breathe. His mind was both blank and running a thousand miles a minute. One thought occupied his mind: Get away. "We need to go."

"What?" Viktor could feel Yuuri's horror from across the table, and quickly flagged down their waiter to get the bill. "Is everything okay?"

"No." Yuuri squeaked and whirled around as the man looked back over and met his eyes. This was bad. Very bad. Yuuri needed to get out. Right now. He needed to go home and lock himself in. He needed to disappear.

"Okay, let's go." Viktor barely glanced at the bill before dropping a pile of cash on the table and practically jumping up from his chair. Yuuri was in full panic mode, and very close to losing his composure. "It's okay, breathe." Viktor reminded him as he grabbed both of their coats and led the hyperventilating Yuuri outside.

"Come on, breathe for me Yuuri." Once they'd left the restaurant, Viktor quickly walked Yuuri around the corner so they couldn't see in through the window, and sat him down on the sidewalk, draping one of their coats across his shoulders as he pressed Yuuri's ear into his chest. "Hear my breath? I want you to copy it." Viktor demonstrated by taking a long, full breath. He felt Yuuri attempting to replicate it. "That's good, keep trying. You're safe, Yuuri. I'm here. Nothing will happen to you while I'm here."

Viktor kept up his calm breathing and reassurances, feeling on edge from the whole experience. He'd thought the man who'd been looking at them was a fan, but it was very clear that Yuuri knew him. And Yuuri was afraid him. Which meant Viktor hated him.

"Good, Yuuri." Viktor nuzzled into the top of Yuuri's head once his breathing had evened out. "Everything is okay, you hear me?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." Yuuri snuggled deeper into Viktor's chest, shivering in the evening air.

"Don't apologize, just focus on calming down." Viktor gave Yuuri a firm squeeze as he looked around the street. "Let's take a cab home." He suggested, noticing Yuuri's trembling that could have been a result of the panic attack, or the cold. Either way, Viktor was not making him walk home.

"Yes, please." Yuuri nodded frantically, still paying attention to how long and deep his breaths were.

"Okay, here's one." Viktor flagged down the taxi as it approached, glad for it to have pulled over instead of driving by like so many other jackass drivers. "I'm going to pick you up, okay? I don't want you to fall."

"Okay." Yuuri wrapped his arms around Viktor's neck and reluctantly let himself be scooped up into the strong arms. He trusted those arms. And the person they were attached to. But seeing _him… _it was hard not to tense while he was being held. He could chalk that up to his panic attack for now, but later… Yuuri would have to start coming up with a lie that Viktor would believe. Or at least go along with.

Viktor was relieved when the taxi driver hopped out and opened the back door for him and Yuuri, seeing as Viktor's hands were full of his trembling fiancé.

"Is he okay?" The driver's eyes were wide and full of concern.

"Yes, he's just had a bit too much to drink." Viktor forced a chuckle as he slid himself and Yuuri into the back of the cab. "Thank you." He nodded to the driver as he shut the door and ran around to regain his spot behind the wheel. "I'll just take him home and get him to bed." Viktor gave the address and let the subject drop, glad the man hadn't pressed for details or insisted that Yuuri should be taken to the hospital. It was their go to cover story for when Yuuri had an episode in public and they needed to get home. Viktor would carry him or let Yuuri use him as a crutch, and they would say he was just drunk, or sick, but nothing so bad that would require a trip to the hospital. One driver they'd had a few months prior had completely gone against Viktor's wishes and driven them to an ER, to which Viktor's response was get out, hail another cab, and go home five minutes later.

The ride was spent in silence; Yuuri's head in Viktor's lap, Viktor staring out the window, the driver getting them home as quickly as possible.

When they arrived at their apartment complex, the driver jumped out of the car before Viktor had the payment ready and opened the door for them again.

"Thank you." Viktor handed the man a stack of bills that was likely close to twice his fare, and let Yuuri lean on him as they ambled up to the front door. He was always weak in the knees after a panic attack. Well… the knees and the everything else. "How are you feeling?" Viktor prompted conversation as they got buzzed in through the security door and headed towards the elevator. Yuuri was leaning heavily, barely able to walk on his own accord. He just made a sound that was somewhere between a groan and a whimper in response. "It's okay." Viktor whispered and planted a kiss on Yuuri's forehead. A kiss Yuuri cringed away from. "Yuuri…" Viktor's heart broke. Yuuri hadn't rejected one of his kisses since… well… he never had. That first kiss on the ice had been as well received as each one Viktor had showered him with since. But now… "Yuuri!"

Since they'd gotten out of the cab, Yuuri had felt his knees growing weaker with every passing second. He'd been internally begging them not to give out, to just let him stay on his feet until they got upstairs. Not in public. Never in public. When his knees gave out, so did his rational thought. He heard someone call his name as he was scooped up into the air by strong arms, cowering the whole time.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…!" Viktor heard Yuuri repeating over and over like a broken record.

"Shh…" Viktor tried to sooth, but could feel Yuuri growing tense in his arms, another panic attack beginning. The elevator couldn't move fast enough as they ascended to the top floor of the building. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

The elevator finally dinged open on their floor, and Viktor hurried to the end of the hall, somehow managing to unlock and open the door while keeping a squirming Yuuri held tight to his chest.

"Okay, it's okay." Viktor gently laid Yuuri down on the couch, kneeling close by. He stroked his hair, whispered reassurances, and reminded him to breathe, letting the second panic of the night subside. Makkachin padded over, nosing at and licking Yuuri's face and neck, hopefully helping with the whole 'calming down' thing.

"I'm sorry." Yuuri sighed in a much quieter tone than his previous broken record apology once he'd been calm for a while.

"Don't be." Viktor hopped up on the couch next to Yuuri when he sat up, and offered his shoulder to lean on. Yuuri melted into his side, reminding himself that this was Viktor. Viktor. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Yuuri lied through his teeth, hoping this would be the one time Viktor wouldn't see through it, or just let it go. He wasn't ready to tell him.

"Okay, should we get you to bed?" Viktor wasn't fooled for a second by Yuuri's lie, but he figured it was just something he wasn't ready to talk about yet. He might prod later, or wait until Yuuri came to him. The second option would be preferable, but Viktor knew Yuuri most likely wouldn't talk first.

"Please." Yuuri nodded, voice soft and broken. The voice that kept breaking Viktor's heart, over and over again.

"Okay." Viktor gently scooped Yuuri up with no resistance this time. He was exhausted.

Makkachin padded along behind them as Viktor carried Yuuri to their room and set him down in bed, pulling the covers up before sliding in beside him and pulling him close. Yuuri snuggled into Viktor's neck, barely able to keep his eyes open any longer.

"I love you." Viktor whispered into Yuuri's hair, hoping he heard it.

"I love you too." Viktor couldn't tell if Yuuri was awake or not when he mumbled the phrase, but he didn't care. He'd heard Viktor. That was all that mattered.

* * *

**Leave me a review if you feel like it. See you in the next one. **

**~Spades**


	2. Chapter 2

Viktor woke to darkness. He rolled over to check the clock, and, upon seeing it was three in the morning, became confused as to why his sleep had been disturbed. He got his answer a moment later, however, when Yuuri flinched and whimpered.

"No…" Yuuri mumbled with his eyes screwed shut, biting his bottom lip. "Stop…"

"Yuuri." Viktor whispered softly, hoping to ease Yuuri out of his nightmare without waking him up. "It's okay, shh…" He pulled Yuuri to his chest, pressing gentle kisses into his hair as he continued to battle whatever was going on in his head.

"No." Yuuri suddenly flinched harder, voice gaining force. His arm lashed out as if to block something from hitting him. "Please, I'm sorry!"

"Yuuri!" Viktor called out with more force, letting go of him and sitting up. Normally he could soothe Yuuri out of his dream and back into a peaceful sleep, but if he was thrashing like this, he might hurt himself. "Yuuri, wake up!"

"I'm sorry!" Yuuri yelled again when Viktor grabbed his shoulders, arms flying up to protect his face. "I'm sorry!"

"Yuuri!" Viktor changed defense tactics when Yuuri's legs started flailing. He quickly straddled Yuuri's hips and caught his wrists, pinning them to the bed above his head. "Yuuri! Come on, it's Viktor! Wake up!"

"I'm sorry!" Yuuri lurched awake with his scream, eyes wide, breath shallow and quick. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please stop!" Tears began slipping down Yuuri's cheeks and Viktor quickly got off of him when he realised that Yuuri was begging to be let go while looking directly into Viktor's eyes.

"Yuuri, calm down." Viktor tentatively reached out to Yuuri, who had curled into the fetal position, but pulled his hand back when Yuuri flinched and yelped. "Please, Yuuri. Breathe. It's Viktor, you're safe."

"Don't hurt me." Viktor heard the plea and felt his heart being torn out of his chest. "Please."

"Nobody will hurt you." Viktor felt so useless sitting there at the edge of the bed, just staring at Yuuri, unable to wrap his arms around the shaking body, unable to brush the hair away from his eyes, unable to kiss his forehead and wipe the tears away. "I'll never let anybody hurt you."

It took about ten minutes of Viktor staring at Yuuri as he calmed himself down.

"Are you okay?" Viktor whispered once Yuuri stopped trembling and begging to be left alone and unharmed.

"I'm sorry." Yuuri's voice cracked as he huddled in on himself even tighter than before.

"Don't be." Viktor once again experimentally reached out to rest a gentle hand on Yuuri's shoulder, resisting the urge to draw back when Yuuri flinched at his touch. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No…"

"Let's rephrase. Tell me why you thought I was going to hurt you."

"I didn't…" Yuuri faltered, tears starting up again. "I didn't think _you _would hurt me…"

"Well then who? Was it that guy from the restaurant? Who is he?" Viktor found his voice to be a bit harsher than intended, but he wouldn't stand for Yuuri panicking and suffering when Viktor didn't know why.

"I… Y-yes… Yes, it was him." Yuuri could barely raise his voice above a whisper as he tried to keep the floodgate that held back all of his foul memories intact. "He… He's my ex…"

"Your ex?" Viktor repeated when Yuuri had been quiet for a moment.

"There's a reason I never wanted to talk about past relationships with you… he was… he…" Yuuri took a deep breath, it had been over a year since he'd said it out loud. "He's extremely abusive. Physically, verbally, psychologically… you name it, he does it. I was with him for four years."

"Yuuri…" Viktor didn't know what to say. He'd always found it strange that Yuuri had never been in a relationship. He was so perfect, how had every person within a hundred mile radius not have thrown themselves at him? It suddenly all made sense. The reluctance to talk about his past. The resistance when Viktor touched him. The commitment issues. The eagerness to please. The constant apologies. All of it.

"He made my life hell while I was in Detroit." Yuuri continued, finding himself unable to stop. "He constantly accused me of cheating on him with Phichit and my other rink mates. He saw me admiring you as 'unfaithful.' I walked on eggshells around him because I never knew when I would do something to piss him off. I was always apologizing for making him hurt me; thanking him for making me into a better person. It was disgusting. But the worst part of it all is that I thought I was happy with him. I thought I loved him, and that he loved me, and that was why he did all of those things. He brainwashed me into thinking it was normal to be afraid of getting beat up. That being unable to think for myself was just how a relationship worked. That getting permission to go out with a friend and texting him every five minutes while we were out was fine, even though he would go out without telling me and not call once. It was hell, Viktor."

"Yuuri." Viktor practically tackled Yuuri with a tight hug, trying to control the tears that were pouring down the back of Yuuri's neck. "Oh god, Yuuri. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault." Yuuri somehow found the wiggle room to roll over and wrap his arms around Viktor, running a hand through the silver hair that needed to be trimmed. "Hey, we didn't even know each other then, why are you sorry?"

"Because you went through such horrible things, Yuuri. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be loved, and cherished, and spoiled. You deserve to be happy; you always have. And that bastard up and decided to hurt you and make you think otherwise."

"It's okay, Viktor, I have you now." Yuuri felt tears of his own brewing again and forced them back. Viktor was sobbing enough for the both of them, and would only feel worse if he saw Yuuri crying. "You spoil me, you love me. You make me happy. Happier than I ever thought I could be. You reminded me what love is supposed to feel like."

"Why are you the one comforting me right now?" Viktor mumbled, feeling absolutely ridiculous wallowing in his guilt and pity when Yuuri was the one who'd been through the trauma.

"Because I can." Yuuri assured in a soft mumbled directed a Viktor's ear. His fingers continued to stroke through the silky hair. "You can comfort me tomorrow. Sleep for now."

"Okay." Viktor practically whimpered, unable to stop picturing Yuuri getting hurt or yelled at or being afraid to make a sound. "But I _am_ comforting you tomorrow. No matter what you say."

"Okay." Yuuri smirked, loving how Viktor could sound so childlike but also like the most mature adult Yuuri had ever met simultaneously.

"I love you, Yuuri Katsuki."

"I love you, Viktor Nikiforov."

* * *

**Let me know what you think, or don't. But do. **

**~Spades**


	3. Chapter 3

"Good morning." Yuuri mumbled as Viktor rolled over the next morning.

"Morning." Viktor snuggled into the crook of Yuuri's neck, not yet ready to get out of bed. "Did you sleep?" Memories of the night before began to trickle back into his mind, and Viktor found himself instinctively wrapping his arms around Yuuri, doing what he could to protect his beloved.

"Not really." Yuuri had spent his night dozing to a point of almost sleep before memories tore him away from the edge and back into consciousness. His anxiety had been running high all night. How had the monster found him? Was it a coincidence that he'd been at the restaurant? Or maybe it wasn't him and Yuuri had been mistaken? No. He couldn't have. He knew those eyes anywhere. Those eyes that were cold and hard only to the ones who truly knew him. Only to Yuuri.

"Talk to me." Viktor sat up, bringing Yuuri with him, patting the bed so Makkachin would join them.

"I don't know how he found me." Yuuri relaxed into Viktor, or tried to, at least. Even with his fingers twisting in Makka's curly fur, Yuuri felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to be pushed at any second. "I completely erased myself and started over when I left. I changed my phone numbers, emails, P.O. box, social media, and blocked him on everything I could. He'd never been to Japan with me, so he didn't know my address there, and none of the competitions I competed in would have given me away. Sure, he would know you live in St. Petersburg, and I'm training under you, but this is a big place, and the fact that he knew what restaurant we were going to…" Yuuri felt his breathing getting short and his hands beginning to tremble.

Viktor pulled Yuuri closer as Makka wriggled under one of his arms, both of them recognizing the warning signs of a panic attack. "It's okay, I promise I won't let him hurt you. Ever again."

"I just…" Yuuri tried to take deep breaths, listening for the strong, steady beat of Viktor's heart through the blood rushing in his ears. "I'm scared he'll try something. If he ends up hurting you or Yurio I-"

"He won't. I won't let him." Viktor pulled Yuuri closer so he could hear the rhythmic heartbeat. Hearing Viktor's blood pumping was something that never failed to calm Yuuri. The constant, even pounding gave him something to focus on, to ground himself.

"You don't know what he's capable of."

"Yuuri…" Viktor took a breath, fully knowing he was probably about to start a fight, but willing to so he could know more of Yuuri's side. "I think we should get the police involved. We can report it as a stalking case, or you could even report what he did to you."

"It won't work." Viktor was surprised when Yuuri didn't snap or get upset and simply responded in a calm monotone. "Male abuse victims are overlooked so easily it's insane. I called an abuse hotline once when it got really bad, but they just told me to man up and stop wasting their time. It's not that easy, and they know that. They give women detailed advice on who to contact, where to go, and what to bring with them, but men… Apparently it's impossible for us to be in bad situations that we can't just walk out of."

"Yuuri…" Viktor couldn't stop opening his sentences by sighing his love's name. So much guilt and pity came out with each breath it was disgusting.

"Don't, Viktor." Yuuri pushed away just enough to look Viktor in the eye. "Don't pity me. Don't ever pity me."

"I didn't mean-"

"I know." Yuuri sighed and snuggled back up to Viktor's shoulder. "Let's just not talk about it for now."

"Okay." Viktor pulled Yuuri impossibly closer, hoping he couldn't hear the tears escaping from his eyes. "But if he ever comes close to you. I will kill him."

"I know." Yuuri smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too."

A calm silence enveloped the two and they just existed for a while, tangled in each other's limbs, neither willing to admit they knew the other was crying. It was Yuuri who finally managed to break the silence.

"We should probably get up." He sighed, slipping out of Viktor's unexpected arms before he could protest.

"I don't wanna." He whined in response as he watched Yuuri make his way across the room to the closet.

"We're supposed to be at the rink in an hour." Yuuri pulled out a pair of track pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt before turning back around and smirking at Viktor's puppy eyes.

"We could skip practice today." He suggested, pulling the comforter back invitingly. "It's warm under here."

Yuuri just chuckled and changed into his fresh clothes, finishing the outfit off with a thick sweatshirt that would at least help him a little bit in his battle against the freezing Russian temperatures. "No can-do Mr. Coach man." He shook his head and wandered back over to the bed. Viktor opened his arms as Yuuri perched himself on the edge of the mattress, melting into the strong arms that wrapped around him as Viktor rested his forehead on Yuuri's shoulder. They stayed like that for a bit, breathing together, trying not to think too much about the previous night. "Come on, we gotta go." Yuuri finally mumbled, placing a gentle kiss into the silver hair before standing up and grabbing his skating bag.

"Fine." Viktor hauled himself up and quickly changed as Yuuri headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and battle with his rats' nest of raven hair.

Once inside the pristine, tiled room, Yuuri gently shut the door, locked it, and let himself sink to the floor. He'd put on a brave face for Viktor, but truth be told, he was terrified.

Adrian was in Russia. That monster had tracked him down. Yuuri cursed himself for continuing to skate, for letting himself go back to being a public figure. What was he thinking?! How could he have possibly thought it would be okay? Of course he would have been found sooner or later! And clearly, sooner was the prevailing option.

"Fucking hell…" Yuuri gasped, just beginning to realise he was on the edge of yet another panic attack, too far over the edge to stop it on his own. His breath came in spastic burst, his mind filled with memories, horror stories really, of what he'd went through those four years in Detroit.

_"What the fuck was that? You call that skating? My three year old niece could do better!" _

_"No, you're not going out. I'm not going to let you whore around behind my back. Especially not with that Thai faggot." _

_"Pick up your damn phone when I call!" _

_"You're delusional, I never said that." _

_"Why can't you do anything right?" _

_"Oh, you're so clumsy, did you run into the barrier again to get that black eye?" _

_"Learn to listen and respect me so I don't have to punish you. This is your own fault." _

_"Nobody else would put up with you, why would you want to leave me and be alone?" _

_"You're too sensitive, I didn't even hit you that hard." _

_"You'll never be good enough." _

_"Yuuri?" _

That voice was different. It came with a knock on a door, not a smack to the face or a kick to the ribs. And not a pounding knock, a gentle, quiet knock that barely fought its way through the cacophony of screaming in his head.

"Yuuri what's wrong?" Viktor could hear the hyperventilating through the bathroom door and tried the handle, but found it locked. "Yuuri! Let me in, please!" Viktor could hear Yuuri mumbling to himself but couldn't make out specific words. "At least get back from the door." Viktor shook his head as he thought about what he was going to do. It seemed ridiculous, only something that would happen in a movie, but if Yuuri continued panicking by himself… Phichit had told Viktor some pretty intense stories from his experience living with Yuuri. Viktor wouldn't be able to handle it if Yuuri hurt himself and he could have prevented it.

_"Here we go I guess…" _he thought as he took a step back and focused on the door-handle. He took a deep breath, shifted his weight, and slammed his foot into the door right next to it, feeling a snap and a splinter beneath his sock. He lined up and kicked again, nearly toppling as the door swung open this time. Once he had regained his balance, Viktor spotted Yuuri, curled up in the fetal position, inches from where the door would have swung.

"Yuuri!" instinct kicked in and Viktor skidded over, moving to help his fiancé sit up and wrap him in a warm hug, but he stopped himself when Yuuri cringed away from the gentle touch and whimpered softly to himself. "Yuuri it's me, it's Viktor." He assured, feeling absolutely useless. Ninety percent of his calming tactics revolved around touch; hugs, kisses, rubbing circles into his back, stroking his hair, anything that conveyed affection without words. But now… Viktor only had his words. And they seemed vastly inadequate.

"Yuuri, try to breath. Listen to my breath, okay, in and out. In. And out." Viktor demonstrated as he explained, hoping Yuuri could hear him. "Please Yuuri."

Viktor sat on the cold tile, feeling absolutely useless, reminding Yuuri how to breath until he started to show improvement. "That's it, keep doing that!" Viktor exclaimed as gently as he could before continuing to count breaths for his fiancé.

"I'm sorry." Viktor's heart broke when Yuuri's mumbled syllables finally became recognizable. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to apologize for." Viktor assured, voice barely above a whisper. He experimentally reached out and placed a gentle hand on Yuuri's shoulder, a rush of relief flooding thorugh him when the younger man didn't cringe away this time. "C'mere." He slowly helped Yuuri to uncurl from his tightly wound ball of limbs and held him close, not daring to let go. "You're safe, hear me? You're safe."

"I'm sorry." Yuuri repeated once more as he buried his head in Viktor's chest, allowing himself to be coddled.

"Yuuri." Viktor said firmly, immediately regretting his decision when his fiancé flinched and began to curl in on himself again. "We're not going to the rink today." His voice returned to a soothing tone as he bit his tongue, cursing himself for scaring his beloved.

"Please, Viktor, let me go." Yuuri practically begged, to the surprise of the silver haired man. "Please."

"Yuuri, love…" Viktor trailed off when Yuuri pushed away and he saw the devastation in his eyes.

"Please." He squeaked. "I need to. I can't stay here all day. He used to keep me locked in the house when I misbehaved. The only thing that ever helped was skating. Please, I-"

"Okay, shh…" Viktor pulled Yuuri back to his chest, calming the panic before it had a chance to fully present itself. "Okay." He planted countless kisses in Yuuri's raven hair. "We'll go."

**.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.**

Viktor stayed on the sidelines as he watched Yuuri glide around the ice with Yurio. A gorgeous expression had settled on Yuuri's face as soon as he'd stepped onto the ice and hadn't budged since. It wasn't the usual concentration, but rather complete calm. Not a care nor thought seemed to pass through Yuuri's head as he spun, jumped, and chassed across the ice.

"You getting on the ice anytime soon, old man?" Yurio's sharp tone shook Viktor's concentration and he shifted his focus to the blonde boy. Yurio had stopped a couple of feet away and snatched his water from the rink barrier and he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"I don't think so." Viktor shook his head, making sure to keep Yuuri in sight.

"How come?" Yurio scoffed. "Is the great Nikiforov so great that he doesn't need ice time to win gold?"

"No, no." Viktor sighed and smirked as Yuuri landed his quad salchow perfectly. Every trick he'd thrown in the past three hours had been perfect. He _was_ perfect. "I'm just not feeling very well." It wasn't a total lie. Physically, Viktor was fine, however he knew that if he started practicing himself, he wouldn't accomplish anything. His brain was all over the place, and when he spaced out, he couldn't land anything more than a double axel. Pathetic. There was no use in throwing jumps he'd had in his roster since he was a child.

"What's up with the Piggy?" Yurio suddenly switched topics, having wanted to pick Viktor's brain about it all morning.

"How do you mean?"

"Don't act dumb. He's weird. He hasn't said a word or stopped once since he got out here. Not even to talk to you."

"He's got a lot on his mind." Viktor shrugged, hoping Yurio wouldn't dig too deep, knowing he would.

"Such as?"

"It's really none of your business." Viktor snapped, regretting his tone immediately. He would have loved to tell Yurio, to warn him even, but it wasn't his place to do so. Yuuri would have to do that on his own if he wanted to. And if he didn't want to… then Yurio wouldn't know.

"Well screw you too." Yurio pushed off of the barrier and flew into a flawless quad loop, both arms raised, stabbing Viktor with his piercing gaze upon landing. It wasn't often that Yurio got yelled at by anyone other than Yakov, and he couldn't recall a time when Viktor of all people had snapped at him. He had to be honest with himself, it hurt. But he would never let the others see that.

"Yuuri, where are you going?" Viktor all but shouted as he saw his fiancé stepping off of the ice a few minutes later.

"Bathroom." Yuuri called back with a smirk, both loving and getting sick of Viktor's hovering. He appreciated it, he really did, but it was also kind of annoying. He could handle going to the bathroom within the safety of the rink.

Viktor blew him a kiss as Yuuri turned on his heel and headed in the direction of the men's changeroom. He'd almost forgotten about the incident at the restaurant the night before. Almost. But it came crashing back at full capacity while he was washing his hands. The voice hit him with the force of a blow, and he found his blood turning to lead with the two simple words.

"Hello Yuuri."

It took all of the effort he had in him to raise his head and look at the figure in the mirror behind him. The clean-cut blond hair, perfect white teeth, sharp jawline, and cold, cold blue eyes were all too familiar. "Stay." He commanded with a grin, knowing Yuuri was paralyzed with fear.

Yuuri couldn't tell if he was breathing as he just stared into Adrian's eyes through the mirror. Had it been his choice, he would have run for the ice, screaming for someone to call the police, but it wasn't up to him. Even after two years away from the monster, he still had Yuuri under his full control.

"Aren't you going to say hello to your lover?" The sneer sent a chill through Yuuri's already trembling body.

"A… Adri-" He managed to choke out before he was interrupted by the harsh command.

"Face me when we are speaking." Adrian snapped. "Have you really forgotten the basics of respecting another human in such a short time?"

Yuuri swallowed the lump in his throat as he slowly pivoted to face the giant man. He wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

"Better." Adrian smirked, his chilling gaze scanning over Yuuri's fragile looking form. Without realising it, he had begun curling in on himself, ready to protect his organs if the need should arise. "Oh Yuuri, I've missed you so much." The syrup-sweet tone was accompanied by a crushing grip around Yuuri's neck. Any passerby would think it was just an enthusiastic bear hug between lovers, but to Yuuri, it was a suffocating grip, one that made him see stars before he was released. "Why would you ever leave me, dear? We're so good together, everyone says so. So why? Why did you abandon me?"

_"You know why." _Yuuri's voice growled viciously in his head, but what came out was a barely audible squeak of, "I'm sorry."

"I know you are." Adrian held him out at arm's length, eyes hungrily scanning the man who appeared to be shrinking before him. "But if you're sorry for something, what does that mean?" The all too familiar chastising tone made Yuuri's face burn. God he wanted Viktor so badly.

"That I shouldn't have done it." He mumbled, somehow managing to keep his voice from shaking.

"Which means…?" Adrian prompted, an evil glint in his eye. The submission was killing him in the best way possible. God he loved the power he had over the boy.

"I deserve to be punished." Yuuri hung his head, despising himself for returning to his old ways so immediately. He could have run. He could have shouted. What was Adrian going to do while they were in the rink, kill him? No. He'd never threatened Yuuri with such an easy way out of his misery. Yuuri was afraid not for his safety, but for Viktor and Yurio. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if Adrian ever laid so much as a finger on either of them. It would be his fault. Submission and cooperation were best.

"That's right." Adrian nodded, feigning sadness. "I should punish you for such disrespect, but for now, I think I'll forgive you." Yuuri didn't think it was possible, but he tensed further, muscles burning from being taught for so long. Forgiveness? He didn't trust that one bit. "What do you say, Yuuri?" The tone was similar to one a parent would use when chastising their child; however, it was far too condescending and cold.

"Th-thank you." He bit his tongue, cursing himself for stuttering. Adrian only smirked.

"Good. Now. I need your phone number. You're not coming with me today, but by Friday we'll be back together like we should be. Doesn't that sound fantastic?"

_"No that sounds fucking horrible."_ Yuuri wanted to snap back in his face, but instead forced a miniscule nod. Before he could say anything, Adrian's lips were against his, forcing them apart, exploring his mouth. Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut as he forced himself to reciprocate the kiss. Guilt and nausea immediately began chasing each other in circles in his stomach, and he forced down a gag. _"Why…? WHY?!"_ he screamed in his head. _"How could I have been so careless? How could I let this happen?! Why am I such an idiot?!" _Suddenly a squeak was ripped from his mouth and Yuuri tasted blood. He couldn't figure out why at first, but soon realised it was because Adrian was holding his tongue captive between his teeth, biting down with enough force that Yuuri was scared he would sever part of it.

"Phone number." Adrian released Yuuri's tongue with the command. He clutched the sink for support, momentarily entertaining the idea of giving Adrian a false number, but quickly dismissed the idiotic thought. He would know if Yuuri was lying. After all, Adrian knew Yuuri better than he knew himself. He dejectedly rattled off the ten digits, doing his best to ignore the throbbing pain and overwhelming amount of blood he was swallowing.

"Good boy." Yuuri resisted the urge to flinch or smack the hand away when Adrian patted the top of his head. "I'll see you soon." Yuuri watched as the blonde man tugged up his hood and disappeared out the back entrance, never too be seen by the security cameras. Only when the door swung shut behind him did Yuuri allow himself to breath. He quickly turned and spat a mouthful of blood in the sink, trying to keep his breathing under control. It was no use. Yuuri found himself spiralling into panic for the third time that day.

"Yuuri?" Viktor called into the changeroom. He'd not planned on checking up on Yuuri, but fifteen minutes _was _a long time for a bathroom break. Once through the door, Viktor immediately recognized the sound of hyperventilating breaths. "Yuuri?!" Viktor found him curled up under the sink, trembling as droplets of sweat dripped of his face and onto the floor. "Yuuri what happened?" Viktor instinctively reach out to gather Yuuri in his arms, but remembered how he'd reacted earlier that morning and changed his approach. He reached out and gently brushed their fingers together, sighing in relief when Yuuri didn't cringe away. Slowly, Viktor managed to get Yuuri propped up in his lap. Viktor pressed his back into the wall, allowing Yuuri's back to press into his chest as he reminded his fiancé how to breath.

"What the hell is happening in here?" Yurio's grumble rang out as Yuuri began calming down. He'd latched onto Viktor's arms as they snaked their way around his waist, holding on for dear life, refusing to let go just yet. "What did you do to your face, Katsudon?" Yurio was on the ground in a second, kneeling a few feet from Yuuri with a fistful of paper towel, eyes fixed on the blood that was trickling from the corner of his mouth.

"What do you mean?!" the alarm was apparent in Viktor's voice as he turned Yuuri's head to see what Yurio was talking about. "Yuuri?"

"I must… have bit… my… tongue." He rambled between exaggerated breaths, glad he could blame the tremble in his voice on the receding panic attack. "It's… happened before."

"Lyubov moya." Viktor mumbled, burying countless kisses in the crook of Yuuri's neck. He savoured them, trying not to remember where he would be in the next few days.

"I'm fine." Yuuri mumbled, nodding in thanks to Yurio as he handed him a sheet of paper towel to spit in.

"Can I convince you to let me take you home now?" Viktor mumbled gently, heart aching to burry Yuuri under a mountain of blankets and snuggle him until he felt safe again.

Yuuri mulled it over for a moment. He'd be watching, maybe even following him home to see where he could strike next. Yuuri wouldn't feel safe anywhere, but at least they had security guards and cameras at their complex. Maybe home would be a better idea.

"Yeah." He finally decided with a sigh. Relishing in the relaxation that emanated from the man behind him, Yuuri smiled.

* * *

Whoops kind of forgot I'd started posting this in the midst of final projects and exams. Sorry for the delay.

Anyways, leave me a review if you feel like it. See you next time.


End file.
